❝ Just because someone desires you, it does not mean that they value you.
Read it over.
Let those words resonate in your mind.
one time i actually thought i had a chance with someone
❝ I have tried,
tried to fix everything you have broken.
which once was whole,
but now is severed,
can no longer beat steady rhythms.
You seem to have left it in this state
where all it can manage
is a disjointed pattern, one that
not even the evilest
or the saddest of beings
could ever live with.
they no longer long to see me,
no longer long to be with me
because I am sad,
and raw sadness is an emotion
few have felt.
But I do not blame them,
for now, even when
I am with them, I am not
truly there, and it’s easier
for them to make excuses
than to deal with this mutilated version
that is supposedly me
which once was filled
with wondrous ideas,
and inquiring questions,
has become plagued with terrible thoughts,
and haunting answers, that
no soul would want to know about.
My subconscious, soaked in melancholy,
has seeped through the cracks
and crevasses which once
did not exist.
And in this ocean of sorrow,
I find myself drowning.
I am trying,
trying to fix everything you have broken.
I sit in the ever growing darkness
that is night,
and I try to fix myself
so that maybe you will love me again.
Until then, I will spend every moonlit hour
struggling to amend my damaged entity,
while you lay in bed, unaware,
❝ I am fucking insane but my intentions are gold and my heart is pure.
❝ I know you’re going to bed so you don’t have to answer this but I am so in love with you and I realize that because I don’t want to leave. I don’t ever want to leave. And you said that I help you get through things and the feeling is definitely mutual. You get me through everything. The thought of you loving me helps me sleep without you and wake up without you because I know one day we’ll get to do that together. I love you so much. I love who you are always. I would be okay without you, but that’s why I choose to stay. I would choose you every time.
— on far away, busy boyfriends and stationary, nocturnal girlfriends (via punkgirlfriend